very sexy oriental girl in a latex dress

This post was inspired by a conversation I had with a female friend that was curious about “bedroom submission”.
KSDominant.

SUBMISSION TO A MAN

This kind of intimate sharing must be given careful consideration and put it in its proper context. When we use terms like D/s sex play, erotic power exchange, Master/slave role-playing, we’re talking about something much deeper and bigger than media derived stereotypes of whips and chains, kinky couples, etc.

We’re talking about the powerful stimulation that can come from the temporary, willing, surrender of control by one adult to another.
Sexual submission can be an empowering, stimulating, enhancement for any passionate individual that’s willing to explore.

WHAT’S THE POINT?

Though power is the medium of exchange in Dominant/submissive sexplay, mutual pleasure is ALWAYS the purpose, and when we play within agreed-upon limits, that purpose is served in a very special way.
For a short time, we can become the erotic figures of our fantasies, while indulging in the joys and pleasures of power exchange.

IS IT JUST ROLE-PLAY?

By playing out our fantasy erotic scripts together, you offer yourself with an emotional nakedness that brings us close like nothing else can. Submission is primarily about fantasy role-playing as a prelude to a rich and satisfying sexual experience.
The whole notion of willing submission allows you to think and feel counter-intuitively to how you function in your day-to-day life, the idea of allowing someone to dominate you in such an intimate situation brings a potent release from the stresses of everyday life.

For women who’ve had to struggle and fight so long for the right to make personal decisions, giving up power in the bedroom might seem like a backward step. but only at first glance. It actually is the very ability to make that decision personally without gender expectation on the part of either men or women that is a powerful expression of freedom.
Women have earned the right, long enjoyed by men to seek out the kind of sex that excites and stimulates. Only those who have power can make the decision to set it aside for a while. You have the right to have the kind of sex that makes you feel wet right now! The kind of sex that excites your imagination. And as you allow yourself to feel that right now. As a modern, liberated woman, you can demand more from yourself, demand to be controlled.

YEAH, NICE TRY BUT I STILL HAVE CONCERNS!

Concerns are perfectly valid and can only be alleviated through trust.
When considering a partner for this amazing adventure, the contemplation of submission will raise concerns: am I opening myself up for exploitation and abuse and can I become addicted to submission requiring ever greater doses of domination?
While consensual D/s play is overall primarily symbolic it does deserve to be approached with respect.
As with any sexual relationship, it is only as healthy as the people who are in it. That’s why choosing the right partner is so crucial to having a positive outcome. While your submissive fantasies may hold a potent allure, they will only reach their potential with someone that understands and respects the rules of the game.

RULES AND LIMITS AND CONSENT

The most important thing in this is the necessity of agreed upon limits. When dominant/submissive play is contemplated, such negotiation is absolutely necessary. While the details of a particular encounter may arise spontaneously, the basic limits of what you each want and do not want must be crystal clear. Consent is more than just engineered agreement. It is statement of mutual intent.

Real consent must be fully informed and honestly given. This surrender is negotiated, not unconditional. avoid any partner who seems resistant to limits or tries to change the rules of the game after limits have been set. You may be playing as a submissive but you never give up the power of consent.

SAFE WORDS

Safe words are words used to slow down the play or stop it altogether. Often words like ‘mercy’ to slow down and red to stop are very common. Safe words should not be used casually and should never be ignored.

WHAT AM I SUBMITTING TO?

The prevalence of the themes of erotic pursuit and capture in popular art and literature from romance novels to hardcore pornography would suggest that the fantasies of domination and submission are anything but uncommon. The best scientific evidence is your own physical response to the images inside your mind. because when you submit, you’re submitting primarily to your own desires, and to the sensations that are created in your body.
When you’re sexually submissive, you get to feel the thrill of being coveted and possessed and the satisfaction of satisfying your Master’s desires as well as your own. submission can be a powerful expression unlike any other. Inviting you to be your most excellent sexual self and to feel appreciated as such.

SCENES

Power exchange scenarios are often based on interactions in the real world. Doctor/patient, Teacher/student, Detective/suspect, all provide ground for sexual play. Probably the most common submissive fantasy is that of the love slave. The sexual property of a powerful and beloved owner.

The enactment of these scenarios in an erotic context pleasurably invert our expectations, making what might otherwise be frightening or unacceptable an enjoyable turn-on. As consenting adults we understand the difference between fantasy and reality in the bedroom, as you would at a masquerade ball. When submissives objectify voluntarily they can never be trapped in their play selves. This escapism is what makes submission so appealing to you. They may be formal rule-based interactions, but as you get into the scene you realise : this is play, and when we play, we get to step outside of our usual personalities.

While D/s play can develop into highly advanced forms including sexual toys, costumes and techniques, At its heart, submission is about a mindset and a skillset. D/s play is about people, not things. And through communication you get to contribute towards creating and indulging in your own fantasy scene.

DRESSING UP?

Your form of dress can signal your readiness to participate, a collar, a pair of bracelets, or a special pair of shoes can symbolise availability. Starting positions and phrases “are you ready to serve?” also indicate that willingness to start play.

There are endless variations on the theme of sexual submission: some prefer to be an obedient service-oriented slave. While others prefer to be a rebellious hellcat before they’re brought to heel!

HIS PLEASURE OR MINE

Sexual submission implies servicing your partners sexual needs. One of the great joys of submission is knowing that you are well used and loved for giving pleasure. You may be a receptacle for his physical lust but you submit to him out of respect and affection. A good submissive player is anything but passive. The active involvement of of the submissive partner adds greatly to mutual pleasure. A good submissive knows how to make a suggestion without spoiling the mood. and a good Dominant knows how to take that suggestion and utilise it. Having come this far and before going any further, you can congratulate yourself for challenging taboos and perceived ideas about D/s, now you have a question to answer: Does the idea turn you on. Does your body respond favourably to this? And more simply, are you willing to explore a part of yourself that can bring great joy while resolving deep desires. When you have answered these questions inside, you will probably find yourself becoming even more open to the idea of submitting. The best days are the ones where we learn and explore new things. Have fun on your new adventure.

KSDominant
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